A Reflection on Generosity

Learn everything you can,

learn everything you can

about generosity.

 

How it requires that you

take what is most valuable

to you

and give it away

with no expectation.

 

No expectation,

of reward or return.

 

How you must be willing

to look closely at what you value.

Beyond possessions

money, material things

and tell the truth.

 

Tell the truth

about what really matters.

 

How finding generosity requires

you acknowledge your masks

and set them aside.

 

Set aside your

self righteous stance,

your, aggressive words

your, injury

long enough, just long enough,

to see with the heart and forgive trespasses.

 

There is a story of a mature woman

having tea with a young single friend.

when her husband of 40 years

walked through the door

his work boots covered in mud

crumbles and lumps of earth

falling to the floor.

The young friend said,

“Ugh, look at all the mud and dirt

his boots are bringing in…”

The mature woman smiled and said,

“Yes, but they also bring

him in.”

 

Generosity, when I no longer need to make my mask

a valued object – time to offer love.

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for another human being.

How it feels to notice,

she is tired.

To notice,

he is overwhelmed.

Set everything down, reach out your hand,

offer your arms and yield to love.

 

Show me generosity

and I will show you

a successful relationship.

 

How do I get there

How?

Slow down.

Get to know your masks.

Follow the contours,

Locate its edges, and set it aside.

Identify what you truly value

and practice.

 

Practice,

5 gestures of kindness

for every one hurtful mistake.

 

Turn toward your loved ones bid

for attention, or affection.

 

Create a mental map

of all the important people

in your loved ones life.

 

Cultivate shared meaning, rituals for

special days, successes, morning goodbyes, evening hello’s.

 

And every chance you get,

foster thoughts of appreciation, admiration

for your loved one.

 

Someone that once said that

a good relationship is

a contest of generosity.

 

What I would say is…

let’s learn everything we can

about generosity

and yield

into love.

(borrowed words from David Whyte and John Gottman)

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